Barney Frank Says, "I Have a Dream"

Amongst the cadre of mountebanks, sophists, morons, and various and sundry execrable homo sapiens slinking about the dark corridors of power in the nation's fetid and corrupt capital, few are as infuriating and ceaselessly maddening as The Congressman from the Fourth District of Massachusetts, Barney Frank. His has been a career touched by sordid criminality, and marked by arrogance and idiocy rarely matched in a town where arrogance and idiocy flourish like mold on uncovered month old bread. From his early days in Congress, when Congressman Frank looked very vigorously the other way while his then boyfriend ran a prostitution ring out of Frank's apartment, to his strenuous efforts on behalf of the No Wall Street Banker Left Behind Bailout, Frank's career is studded with monstrosities.

The latest abomination comes in the form of a howlingly absurd and deeply dishonest statement made in support of President Obama's public pronouncements evidencing a shift away from Mr. Bush's "ownership society." Congressman Frank has lately offered that he has "Always said the American dream should be a home - not homeownership." Let me get this straight, Congressman. What you're saying, if I'm to take you at your word, and most importantly, correctly parse the meaning of your statement, is that you've always said that "Americans should, in fact, dream of a home, just not theirs?" We should instead dream of, oh, say, our neighbor's dwelling, or perhaps our Auntie Linda's lovely manse, and imagine how, one day, we might be able to pay our neighbor, or Auntie Linda four or five thousand dollars a month (not including utilities) to live in THEIR HOME.

Interesting. Please bear with me while I conduct a brief experiment where we travel back in time and listen to a slightly altered version of Martin Luther King's most famous public address, made in your very own Washington, D.C. "I have a dream, that one day black and white children will live and play together, side by side... in rental property." I don't know, Barn, it just doesn't have the same compelling and inspirational feel of the original. Okay, maybe you are saying something more prosaic, like, everyone should dream of simply having a roof over their head, whether it be the sloping roof of wood and shingle tiles on a single family home, or a (one room) card board box number with a bit of dirty plastic for cover against the elements. I mean, if you don't have to own the damn thing, then why not encourage people to live any old place that provides shelter, like a hollowed out tree, or a rusty old van, or a pup tent, none of which are, of course, OWNED by the inhabitants! By the way, Barney, I'm just wondering, since you already own your home, what's your American Dream? Wait, don't tell me, because I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.